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How To Be Around The One Going Through Hard Times…

 



One interesting thing about Sex & The City is when Carrie Bradshaw played by Sarah Jessica Parker got jilted on her wedding day, she took it to her heart, like any human being would. That’s when her three girlfriends understanding the need of the situation wisely , helped her get back to life slowly and gradually.Sensibly refraining from asking questions and giving her much needed space and allowing her regain control and return back to life ,but they never left her side completely is a good example one can follow.

After every trauma, misery or loss of a loved one, those around us wants us to be normal again in a instant , to recover from it like you took a pill and they expect to see the results in the morning. Well it’s a bitter reality, those who are passing through that phase , they find it impossible,infact some people after a tragedy strikes , they find themselves unable to crawl out the bed in the morning.The smallest and tiniest acts , basic routine seems like climbing a mountain.

Being around such people after a misfortune incident, needs immense patience. Healing is a slow process,  it takes a great amount of understanding and empathy.To those who are suffering from the loss and pain , the world seems like a dark place , everything feels useless, they find themselves in a state where nothing has any purpose or attraction.

To begin with , just being there for them selflessly has paramount importance.Remind them to breath , never expect them to act what one might consider as normal. Refrain from asking questions, as they might not be in a state where they have the energy and strength to answer, make sure that they are not suppressing their feelings, as that’s one of the most alarming thing.It has huge implications for the future.Remind them to eat ,help them regain their physical energy, and eventually gain control of their emotional stability.Furthermore keep an eye for signs of any mental and physical conditions , as in many cases the emotional stress can lead to serious mental and physical health conditions.

For the believers any hardship is a trail , which is promised by the creator , in the Second Chapter of Quran he says “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return”. That’s a reminder for those who are facing tests and difficulties.Yasmin Mogahed said  “Time of difficulty test our faith, our fortitude and our strenght. During these times, the level of our imaan becomes manifest” , in her book Reclaim Your Heart she wrote
“We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. We need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.”

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